(Sorry I forgot the name of this meme)
Are you named after someone?Yes, my grandmother, although my name was created by combining parts of her first and middle name.
When was the last time you cried?
Except for a few tears during a movie, I’d guess about 2 weeks ago. Not sharing the reason however. Suspence time…
Do you have kids?
Yes, 4…. And no quips about not knowing when to stop either! Apparently we (speaking of the females in our family) are seriously fertile, getting the doc to do the sterilization took some effort. He asked me about 10 times whether I truly wanted a sterilization… On the day of the c-section. When he asked me the last time if I really wanted a sterilization just before he did the procedure and I told him YES! He replied that I was such a good source of income. Cool so if you stuff up you can pay for the next one…
If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?
Yes, I’m funny, listen well and am loud and boisterous 😂
I’m also good with the hugs when things go bad, but I’m not always constant in keeping contact.
Do you have a guilty pleasure?
Umhhh, well yes and not healthy… Mocha Bioplus
Do you like handwriting?
No, but I love fancy or funky stationary.
What is your favourite cereal?
Huh?! I don’t do cereals. However I used to love tasty wheat and matabela.
What is the first thing you notice about people?
Whether they are genuine or not. I prefer straightforward people that show they dislike me than the ones that would profess to love you and then stab you in the back.
What color are your eyes?
A very interesting blue, dark on the outer ring getting lighter towards the centre with flecks of green and brown on the inner circle. I always used to get a lot of comments on my eyes especially as a child. They are way big, but with age have become less notably extra large. Also might be because I wear spectacles for astigmatism.
Scary movies or happy endings?
Neither, I’m not much into movies, but prefer the subtle humour of British movies or psychological thrillers. But give me a book (any book) and I’m in heaven.
Favorite TV show?
Right now it is: The Blacklist, Scorpion, Blue Bloods, Elementary, Numb3rs, Castle and the BBC Sherlock Holmes
Summer or winter?
Neither, I’m happy between 25-27 degrees celsius.
Hugs or kisses?
Definitely hugs. I’ll hug just about anyone (males not so much). But kisses are reserved for family.
What’s the furthest you’ve been from home?
We did a tour through South West Africa (now Namibia). Other than that a day trip to Gabarone and two trips to Cape Town.
Do you have special talents?
Many and varied, just don’t ask me to ice a cake. 😳
If I tell people that LM is the child that gives me the most grief, I always get that you’re just being melodramatic look. Well, guess what, behind that little sweet face lies a will of steel and a heart as hard as a stone.
Let me explain what happened today and then decide what you would have done in my shoes.
She’s six and almost a half years old. In grade R, where the teacher has also seen some of her “stubborn” side. For some of the time she is truly the sweetest little thing. She loves to cuddle and will draw me endless pictures. Or ask me to draw them so that she can then colour them in. She will give me a makeup session or mani and pedi.
And then the other one appears. SR is sick at home with sick hubby. SR usually picks her up from the waiting class (Grade R ends half an hour earlier than the primary school). Then they either meet me in front of the hall or go to the after school activities like chess club. Today was chess club. So I went to the grade R section to get her and take her to chess club. She wasn’t there. There are only 3 routes that she could have taken so I started looking for her. Half way through the middle route I found her. She was obviously upset and clung to my hand. We walked to chess club where BB was playing his first game already. She didn’t want to go, so we took the path back to the bench under the trees in front of the hall. (I’ve spent hours on that bench!)
She then complained that she was hungry. I didn’t take anything to school since they would all have been in chess club and from there would have gone straight home. But LM wanted a toasted ham and cheese sandwich from the tuck-shop. I told her no and why (money is very tight this month).
Then she started whining. My only response was in the line of “I heard you and I can’t change my mind”. About a quarter of an hour later, the weather made a dramatic turn and I got hail and storm warnings from several directions. I collected BB from chess early so that we could make it home before the weather nailed us. We’re talking about ten to two.
Once I had BB I called LM so that we could go home before we got stuck in awful weather. It swear it took me half an hour to get her in the car. That included driving out of the drop off zone and back in to collect her. But before that, this is what happened:
Once I got fed up with her refusal to get in the car, I picked her up (which I’m not actually allowed to do… different reasons – medical in nature). I carried her to the car and managed to pop the child lock on the rear door as I tried to shut a 16 footed octopus into the car. The minute I had the door closed she was gunning for the other back door. I caught her just as she was opening the door and put the child lock on that door as well as I tried to close the door without getting a hand or foot caught.
She’s now safely secured in the car right? Wrong. As I got behind the steering wheel I was just in time to grab her dress as she tried to climb through the back window. BB helped me to pull her back in so that I could close the window and activate the window lock. As soon as that was done she scrambled into the front passenger seat on top of BB and opened that door. He grabbed her arm and held on. I opened the boot and out of desperation got BB’s ruler out. BB had to help me keep her semi still so that I could hit her 3 times with the ruler. That’s when I let her go. She scrambled back to the
pathway to the hall and I took a short walk to get myself into the position where I wouldn’t do her permanent damage. That was when I drove out of the drop off zone and back in to pick her up.
However, LM was having tantrum fun and still refused to get in the car. The ham and cheese sandwich got substituted to lasagne. And she didn’t want to get in the car. I stood around for a minute or two trying to think of how to get her in the car. Finally I just gave up, picked her up again and put her back in the car. Giving her a hiding by hand as we I started driving almost immediately.
But had to brake twice while still in the drop off zone. First she climbed into the front of the car again. Then she had the brilliant idea of putting the radio on top volume.
I told BB to only make sure she didn’t use the car door handle and let her be for the rest. She again did the volume thing at which point I just switched the radio off and then she targeted the hazards.
We made it for 5 blocks before I had to pull off the road again after she tried to take the car out of gear while I was driving.
I told BB to let her go. She jumped out of the car again. I got out and had to chase her around to get back in the car. The process of getting her in the car took 30 minutes, while the storm started around us.
It included another hiding, this time with my shoe. Me chasing her around 5 or 6 times, while she ran screaming from me. Her shouting at me, me shouting at her. Me trying to force her back in the car once I caught her. I’m sure it looked like an abduction attempt. I even threatened her with the police.
Finally she relented. But it took her an additional 10 minutes to walk the distance to the car.
Shuffling half a foot at a time with breaks between each step. She then demanded to have her schoolbag inside the car with her. That I did and she finally got in the car.
But that still wasn’t the end of the clash of wills. I told her to get in the booster seat and to strap in. I told her she had one choice, she could pick her own seat or her brother’s who wasn’t in the car.
It took another ten minutes while I was standing in the rain before I gave up and let her sit in the middle without being strapped in. Oh and the best part was if I closed the door and moved to the other side she would move as well so that I couldn’t strap her in. This also happened 3 or 4 times.
I told her that we were now going to be driving in dangerous circumstances with the rain and that if we were to have an accident she would die if she wasn’t strapped in.
And of course she fell asleep in the car on the way home. Just as well cause I might have done permanent damage if she had carried on.
The moment we were able to start driving again it was ten to three.
I almost asked the ballet teacher at school to take her home when she was done, since she lives close to us. And leave her there to show her that if I tell her I’m going to leave her, I would.
So what would you do in this situation?
Please criticize, advice or just comment. I truly don’t know what to do anymore.
Since it has been ages after the last post, I thought I’d do an update first. I’ve added some things to OMG! And Random Facts.
As for myself – I got my own car December 2011, got a job May 2012, was admitted with Major Depression Disorder in August 2013. Transferred to another department November 2013, got a FTE contract for three months November 2014 as the BU that I was with was laying off all contract personnel. Been “unemployed” since February 2015. Was in therapy until January 2015, but had to stop due to finances. It made a huge difference for me.
Will have to cut this short, but more later.
Just downloaded the android app. Now I’ll be able to post regularly….
…on top of SR while he was sleeping. I’m past the anger by now, but this is what happened:
On the one afternoon my fantastic does everything DG called me to show the cornice that had come down in the boys bedroom. I told her to ask her husband to take it down and to nail the ceiling board back before it falls down too.
My fantastic does everything DG decided that I had told her to only do it the next day. We were all sleeping when I woke up from a crash and SR crying. The ceiling board had fallen right on top of him.
A brick also fell out of the roof, but luckily it got caught by the curtain rail and didn’t land on SR’s head.
Needless to say I’m not that fond of my DG at the moment…
I’ve got all the kids at home today. Again! BB’s best friend Funny S came over for a playdate. SR and LM refused to go to creche, because they’ve got a friend over…
So, to try and get a few moments to myself, I decided to try out one of those easy home art projects. Something simple, hassle free and above all foolproof.
Ha! Making up three batches of side walk paint was the easy bit! Some maizena, food colour and water. Like I said easy.
I sacrificed my sponge brushes in the hope of half an hour’s peace. But it never happened. Before I even left them to it the fighting starts.
“Mommy, LM’s painting on mine!” SR’s got such a penetrating voice!
Practicing my best ostrich impersonation, I ignore all comments and disappear to the bedroom to enjoy the short lived tranquility. That’s if you can manage to ignore the ever increasing volume of complaints from the stoep.
Five minutes and SR has joined me in the bedroom leaving his 2 year old sister alone with the side walk paint. BB and Funny S having abandoned them to rather go play Wii. I try working around him, but have to stop and play with him for a little while. Next moment LM walks into the room… with the green (the one colour that I got perfect) bowl tilted in her hands… so that the paint splashed out with each step… a decidedly green look to her feet, legs, shorts, hands and arms… there’s even green spots on her face.
Horrified I chased her out of my bedroom back to the stoep before rushing to the kitchen for the stain removing pine detergent.
So the moral of this story is:
- Even foolproof arts and crafts need to be supervised in this house for at least the next 3 years.
- My children can and will fight about anything
- And food colour can and will stain slate tiles.
Thank God the holiday is almost over!
Please bare in mind that on the days you refuse to drive, you are also relinquishing your right to comment on my driving.
Your loving wife
In short my whole life gets turned upside down. But to expand a little on that…
- My full time, sort-out-everything, fantastic maid has left on holiday and I’m stuck with a house full of slobs.
- The Man is home and just wants to relax, ie do nothing at all… ever… the whole time he is on leave. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but I swear more than one outing a week and he gets grumpy.
- I’ve got 3 demanding and extremely bored kids on my hands. Never mind the lists of fun activities I’ve planned before the holidays even started.
- I’ve got no time for myself. Not even half an hour.
- I’ve got too many parties planned for a maid-free home. Right, it is just two, but still Christmas eve and Christmas day. Stupid, right?
- I’ve got my mom staying over for a week. Dread, horror and what the hell will I say to her thoughts. Let me explain this just a little bit. I had my mother committed in a mental hospital. Her diagnosis was Schizophrenia with obsessive compulsive tendencies. She now lives with my brother. But she still remembers that I was the one that had her committed…
Not a fun time at all!
We had guests yesterday. The husband is a stay-at-home dad. Not necessarily by choice. After they left, the Man told me that it was difficult to talk to this guy. I must admit, it was quite painful to watch. His low self esteem was visible by a mile and over compensated the whole time that they were here.
It made me realise that I used to do this too. I’ve been so worried about what other people think of me that it made me doubt everything I was. Made me believe that I wasn’t as good as other people. Trying to find things I was good at just to be part of the crowd. In the mean time I was neglecting the things that I actually was good at.
A while ago I decided to stuff convention, stuff the rules of society and just be who I wanted to be. It’s happening. Finally I’m starting to know myself. To not worry about how well I compare to the Joneses.
It’s not an over night success, because I still find myself comparing me against someone at times.
A few weeks ago I was asked to be the emcee at a charity event. To put it mildly I was scared spitless. But I did it. I fumbled a few lines in the beginning. Then between a few glasses of champagne and the realisation that the only way to manage this was by not giving a shit what the people thought of me, I managed it. Quite well actually.
My new goal in life is to work on making myself happy. To not give a shit what the world out there thinks of me and to do only what I feel like doing. Oh and a few glasses of wine every now and then.